I’m back to popping pills again – Flu vs Moi Round 2. I’ve realised that I’m going to be a weakling in this town. Cold weather + Booze + Thinking I’m Superwoman = Softee Jenny. I’ve become a valued customer at Boots.
Oh and right, this is my first blog post here. Hello, uhm, LBS MBA applicants. If you want a blow by blow of what's been happening, I apologise but you won't find it in my blogs.
Yeah it has been darn busy in school, but I’m surviving. Classes, homeworks, study group meetings, club events, parties. Right now I actually should be doing my Corporate Finance homework but I figured a looming 4pm deadline will make me work faster later. I’m all about efficiency. That and I can’t stop watching Californication. After the third successive episode I have resigned to the fact that I am doing a marathon. Talk about escalation of commitment.
I know, I know, I’m in school to learn, but actually I’ve realised that my main goal here is to figure out what I want to do with my life. I know I said in my MBA application that I EXACTLY knew what I wanted to do post-MBA, but seriously, didn’t we all? After meeting 400 amazing people from more than 50 countries, we are bound to re-assess our goals. It’s inevitable.
Now what I didn’t see coming was that LBS would actually tell me two important things about myself so early in the programme: One is that I was bound for derailment once upon a time. Two is that I am an idiot.
Derailment is, I learned from GLAM course, an organisational behaviour term for being a - errr I'm not sure if I'm allowed to use certain words here, so let's say - a "monkey" and not knowing it, thus causing you your promotion or even your job. This is classic for superstars who get promoted early and start thinking that they’re a god. I plead guilty. This was years ago when I was still in Manila and I blamed my boss, my clients and even IFRS for my poor performance after my promotion. Sorry, Boss Who Must Not Be Named, I blamed you for years but I have come to realise that the truth is I wasn’t ready then. And I was a monkey. (Wow, my first public apology. Hallelujah.)
And second point – I’m an idiot. I was told that I was an idiot for not living in the moment. At first I couldn’t wrap my tiny brain around it but the arguments are quite compelling and apparently according to a professor it’s a fad these days. Do whatever you want then think about the consequences later. Trust your gut feel and make quicker, more accurate decisions. Gladwell even wrote a book on it, on how wonderful blinking is, LOL. Years ago I thought I was being an idiot when I was not thinking things through, but now I am thinking things through and still I’m an idiot. Oh how times have changed. Yes, I’m an idiot—planning and thinking and all—but see it landed me here in London and I could see a bright light 5, 10 years from now, so I guess I’m happy with being an idiot… Or am I? [Insert mixed feelings here]. I really don’t know how to end this thought. Nor this paragraph. Nor this blog post. Good thing is I have two years to think about it.